Across Country

At one point, sometime last September, I realized just how short life was. Its like I woke up one day and I was in my late twenties. Sure, I can’t complain about being in my twenties at all, but I experienced the bizarre feeling associated with blinking and feeling that 3 years passed. It happened while I was at work. I edited a heritage document that I realized that a younger me was the author of.

And feeling like time was slowly absconding, I decided I needed to place a stake in the ground. I decided to stop waiting for the future. The future happens so quick its like now.

I made a list of all the things I was waiting for in life, and what I was really waiting for. Its really a shame. I was waiting for more money, more time, for me to be finished with school, with my relationships to mature enough to allow me to focus more on myself. Those things are going to feel so silly when I’m looking down the barrel of my 50th birthday. And they don’t sound not silly now.

This started the adventure which was thanksgiving weekend. I booked a one way flight to Missouri, spent 6 waking hours in my parents home town (and having Thanksgiving Dinner in a Riverboat Casino!), then started driving back with my brand new Harley Sportster strapped to the back of my dad’s Toyota Tacoma.

The 26 hour drive took us 30 hours, and my dad considers that a failure. It was rough. I experienced that incessant low-level nag to pee maybe the whole time. This was the importance that was placed on absolutely not stopping unless it was necessary for the sake of time. It was interesting spending so much time with my dad as an adult, actually. I’m sure that this trip brought us closer together, but I’m very used to having my mom there, mediating all the family type of experiences we ever have together.

Most of the adventure happened at night, and the 10 hour segment I drove at the tail end of the trip was between Albuquerque New Mexico through Yuma to San Diego. The 5 hours before that was spent curled up desperately trying to slip on half of a bench seat. The 15 hours before that was spent notably trying not to talk about politics lest we both get frustrated.

It was quite picturesque driving over the desert end of the rocky mountains, but it crystalized my experience when I asked my dad to take a photograph of the rising sun over the Rockies with the Saguaro Cactus backdrop and him bluntly refusing because he was tired. My mental picture will have to suffice.

Unfortunately the last two days in San Diego and its been the wettest two days we’ve had this year. I haven’t gotten a chance to ride my motorcycle yet, despite the need to place 400 more miles onto it before I can get it registered within 30 days of it entering the state. Sometimes these rules seem arbitrary.  

Thirty hours and 2 days later, it all feels worth it. I have my motorcycle. Sure, its just a motorcycle. Its also one less thing I am waiting for. That crazy weekend otherwise spent alone studying and waiting and playing the same old scripts, I spent getting what I wanted.