My first Solo Backpacking Trip: 20 miles of the PCT through Big Bear, California

I wanted to go on an adventure for my 32nd birthday. This was difficult during a global pandemic. Almost all campsites are closed due to Covid-19, and my dog was feeling sick. My 6 month old Australian Shephard Rocky didn’t react well to the heat associated with a mild 3 mile hike to the Pinyon Pines the weekend before. It would be almost cruel of me to take him on something more ambitious. I didn’t want my lack of company and the socially distance order to deter me. Also the idea of a solo backpacking trip scared the bejesus out of me. The fear of the unknown gripped me. In my experience, the best adventures of my life laid close to that feeling. Sure, I had solo car camping trips before, but not backpacking. Something about it felt terribly exposed. On paper this was going to be a very straightforward hike. Doing it alone added just the extra spice I needed to make something so familiar feel new and a bigger adventure than it would be otherwise.

I would hike the PCT point-to-point through big bear for a short 30 mile section of the “C” segment over two days. I planned to start at Onyx Peak at high elevation and over the highest mountain pass in Southern California, then make my way through Sugarloaf and around Baldwin Lake. I would camp in Doble Campground and restock my 4.5 liters of water, then walk an additional 15 miles over Holcomb valley where I would be picked up by a good friend and big bear native to be returned to my car near sunset the following day. As you’ll see, the trip didn’t go exactly to plan, but the planned hike was solidly challenging. I thought I did my due diligence. The trip had mostly elevation loss, a planned water resupply, and a 40% margin on daylight hiking time.

This trip would be wonderful for beginners the way I had planned it. The trail I chose was well maintained, downhill a vast majority of the time, and had cell phone reception due to its proximity to towns. These things don’t change the fact that the hike is long, challenging, and beautiful, but it takes some of the fear away.

I set out on the morning of my birthday alone after a beautiful birthday breakfast. I got to Onyx Peak around 11am and set off, easily finding the PCT from the Onyx Peak parking lot. I had fresh legs but I moved slower than I expected because of my heavier-than-usual pack.

Indeed, my bag felt extremely heavy. I normally backpack with at least one other person meaning I normally get to choose two out of the following four things to carry: a bear can full of food, a camping stove, a water purifier, and a tent. Carrying all four on top of my requisite gallon of water, sleeping bag, and pad pushed my wet weight to over 40lbs. I felt heavy. And I had to carry additional battery packs and my solar charger just as back up for my cell phone and GPS phone. I considered those heavy items as essential since they were back up safety measures. I mused during my hike that I also had a least a thousand dollars worth of gear on my back, and that cost and weight are likely inversely proportional.

The hike felt wonderful. I had fresh legs until mile 9 or 10 when I started moving slower because of pained feet. I wasn’t as tough as I used to be, but I was still in good spirits. I was moved to tears by some surprising vistas and the sight of desert mountains. I started the hike seeing big bear lake in the distance, and despite it feeling so far away, I knew I would reach it by night fall. It had been a while since I spent this much time outdoors, and the awe and wonder felt fresh and new like it hadn’t in a long time. I thought about how I showed up in life and decided to start moving slower because life isn’t a race and you cannot win. The only people I saw all day were a pair of mountain bikers around the town of Sugarloaf. I was not running out of thoughts despite the alone time. I needed this time to decompress.

I loved the PCT itself. The trail was impeccably groomed. I am amazed that this two foot path can be cleared from Mexico to Canada. It’s a feat of the human spirit.

I was using the Alltrails app to record my trip. At one point it pinged me that I was off course. I found myself on a chat trail that ended with a carved out ravine. I headed back north (using a compass!) over a hillside covered in thick brush to retake the trail. The hillside was so covered in fallen trees I just couldn’t see the trail from my vantage point. I rejoined he trail a nerve-wracking half mile later. All conditions were the same on and off the trail, but I somehow felt I was rejoining society when I found that two foot span of cleared bush. This is the thin line between tamed and untamed wilderness for me.

At one point I saw a bull skull in the distance. I walked towards it excited for something new in the scenery. It seemed to change orientation as I walked towards it. This prompted me to wonder if there are any trail ghosts and why no one ever talks about them. Perhaps there are too many objective hazards to be throwing in unobjective hazards on top of them. I decided that I should be a trail ghost. (#lifegoals)

Around mile 12 I peaked over a crest and saw the Baldwin Lake community. I was less than 300 yards away from some beautiful vacation homes. This was the closest I got to civilization all day. Then I noticed that Baldwin Lake was dry. This was not what I anticipated from looking at the maps. I then recalled that I hadn’t seen the streams I anticipated on this hike. It had been a pretty dry day. The last water I saw was 10 miles back. The last campground I passed had a sign regarding water that I casually dismissed. It had just been too early in the hike to feel alarmed by it. My backpack felt strangely light. I asked myself if I was 100% sure that Doble Campground had water. I was not that sure.

I pulled out my phone, took it off airplane mode and looked at the website again. The campground had an “open status” but was called permanently closed on google. I also saw under the text regarding non-potable water that the pipes had burst the previous winter and were not repaired. I am sure that they weren’t in a hurry to fix it either with the state was actively discouraging travel and camping. I felt alarm but mostly I felt frustration that my plan was not perfect. I wanted my solo backpacking trip to run smoothly because I want to be able to trust myself for these adventures. My planned water stop was dry and it was entirely my fault for not reading the website more carefully.

I headed into town for a two mile detour and found a water hose to fill my 3 liter pack. I didn’t make it to Doble campground that night before dark because of the detour. Additionally, the detour and the dry nature of the trail meant that I wouldn’t be able to complete the entire span of the trail the next day without running out of water. This was another measure I took because I was alone.

After my unplanned stop to Baldwin Lake I retook the trail and found a spot I thought would be protected from the wind beneath a rocky outcropping. It was the only flat spot I could see on the mountain side and I just didn’t feel like scouting extensively since I was feeling precious about my feet 14 miles into the hike. It turned out that the rocky outcropping did not afford too much protection from the wind. It was so windy that my tent flew away twice, pulling up the stakes each time. I struggled with it for close to 25 minutes before I decided that this is not a good spot and painfully undid my work, taking turns pinning things underneath the bear can so I could have time to stuff them back in my bag. I eventually found a lovely spot where others have camped before on a separate rocky outcropping a few hundred yards away.

I fell asleep just after sunset. I woke the next morning and enjoyed a luxurious cup of coffee and breakfast staring at what I assume was Silver peak in the distance. I did this for about an hour.

I cut the next day short. I could choose either a short 5 mile hike to Holcomb valley road or perhaps a too long 15 mile hike to the 3N09. I decided this was too long with no reliable water source and only 2 liters of water. That being said, I passed 2 gallons of water left by trail angels. I could have taken it to extend my day hike, but I felt this unfair for a weekend trip. I should leave those gallons of water for PCT’ers that have been hiking for hundreds of miles, closer to death than I was. I also had no plans to replace this water in the future. I considered that I should make a plan to do this. Besides, I definitely already got the exercise I was looking for when I embarked.

I ended my hike at Noon, using my glitchy phone to alert my buddy for pick up. We had a lovely lunch and I was able to drive home in the day light.

It was a good experience. The views were worth it, and it would be a trip that I otherwise wouldn’t have been able to take because of the availability of my friends. I am glad that I got over this hurdle because I feel much less hesitant about taking solo trips in the future. I can venture into the world now alone, neither scared nor bored, enjoying the world without having to view it through the lens of others.

It was a very good birthday present to myself.